Rant Monday September 21, 1987 AC Rant
ÍÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ The ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎ
ÜÚ```` ` ` ` `````ÚÜ
ÜÚ` ` ` ` `` ` ` ÚÜ
ÜÚ```` ````` ` ` ` ` ÚÜ
ÜÚ` ` ` ` ` `` ` ÚÜ
ÜÚ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ÚÜ
ÐÛÛVolume 1, Number 2ÛÛÛÏ
Page Page
Oracle Speaks!----2 Winners Report----3
Letters To Editor-4 Classifieds-------6
Obituaries--------8 Reprints/Rehints--9
Love $okens------11 Reporter Contest-12
Public Service---16 Announcements----13
1
RANT EXCLUSIVE: INTERVIEW WITH ORACLE!
Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ Þ
RANT Editorial Offices were the site of
an unparalleled private audience with
The Oracle. Your Editor can report that
The Oracle does take an interests in
the everyday lives of avatars. When
asked for a tip for RANT readers He
responded with,"Gary M and Becky seem
to have a thing for each other." More
questioning resulted in the response,
ÑÑ ÒÒ
I'll see what I can do.
2
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎ
ÐÎÍÏ Winners! Winners! Ú
ÚÚhe WEEKLY RANT CORNER Ú
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎ Winners! Winners! Ú
Report #1 Ú $ $ Ú
Tome Quest ÐÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÖ
Winners! Ú
Ú
Beren 100$ SHE RA P1 700$ Ú
Joey T1 100$ CELEBRINDL 200$ Ú
Ú
Avatar last to hide tome: Mysterio Ú
Note: The longer the tome remains Ú
hidden, the more the winner recieves. Ú
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÏ
3
Letter to the Editor: "Littering"
Litter in Populopolis???????
Well...you'd think this problem would
not surface here! But it has. I found
assorted written pieces of paper on my
front step...and one other avatars got
hit worse! It was no fun to clean up.
Hey! Gang! Why do you think they put
trash cans in the downtown area! They
sure as heck aren't decorative. So
let's show a little care next time...
one piece of paper is fine but 20?
Papered over, WoodDragn
4
Letter to Editor: "Directory?"
Any chances the "Rant'n'Rave Free
Press...." might publish a directory
of avatars? Inclusion in the directory
being upon request only.
Frodo B Þ
Editor's Reply: No but we are running a
special sale on obituaries this month.
Only 5$ per obit, so get killed now and
save. Actually, organizing a directory
of avatars you meet is a great quest. If
The Oracle likes it, it could be a book.
5
ÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌËÌË
ÉßÉßÉßÉßÉßÉßCLASSIFIEDSÉßÉßÉßÉßÉßÉßÉß
Introducing "Avacounciling", the
great new service guaranteed to put
you and your Avaspouse back on
ESP terms!
Personal, quiet consulting atmosphere
and complete discreetness assure a
pleasant experience for you and your
spouse. Affordable. Effective.
Financing available. Reply to ERIC.
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
Your AD could be here! See Page 13
6
OFFICIAL OFFICIATES
Avatar Weddings Are Now Official
ÍÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎ
ÚBy popular demand for recognition of Ú
Úmarriages in HABITAT, RJScott, MasterÚ
Úof Ceremonies has been authorized to Ú
}provide sanctioned rites of marriage }
for avatars. The Master of Ceremonies
also performs custom services in other
ceremonies including the long sought
Quest Benediction for the invocation
of boons upon starting arduous quests.
FEES NEGOTIABLE. Additionally, his
Mistress of Canine Cermonies, Foxy Lady
specializes in Fire Hydrant Dedications
7
ÑÒ ÑÒ ÑÒ ÙOBITUARIESÙ ÑÒ ÑÒ ÑÒ
ÛÚÚÌÚÚ ÚÚË ÌÚÚ ÚÚËÚÚÛ
ÑÒ ÑÒ ÑÒ ÑÛÛÛÒ ÑÒ ÑÒ ÑÒ
ÛÛÚÚÛÚÚÛÚÚËË ÚRIPÚ ÌÌÚÚÛÚÚÛÚÚÛÛÛ
Ú Ú
It is with heavy hearts that we
announce the death of our dearly
beloved avatars who have departed
this life into headless poverty:
Excellius Miergreat Oxymoron
May they rest in pieces, and may the
good Oracle uplift their $ accounts.
8
THE BEST OF THE RANT: Issue #1 Reprint
Today, the thieves in the now famous
"Great Amulet Caper" were found guilty
of Grand Theft Magic, and sentenced to 5
years in The Void. In pronouncing the
sentence to a hushed, packed courtroom,
Judge Themonioli was solemn. "Zap'em
'til they glow!" he said, "let the
Oracle sort'em out! Next case!"
The story began last week when the Great
Amulet of Wonderous Worth was stolen
from the Back-Forty home of Habitat's
resident Not-So-Wise-Man, Dada Salesh.
9
Salesh, a powerful but clumsy wizard,
tried to retrieve the valuable trinket
with a homing-return spell, but his
attempt backfired. Instead of
recovering the stolen property, Salesh
accidentally Ported the thieves
themselves to his house. Although this
resulted in the thieves' immediate
capture, the Amulet is still missing.
All attempts by officials to extract
information from the evil-doers have
been in vain. It is feared that the
Amulet may remain forever lost.
10
ÜÒÜÑÜÒÑÜÒÜÑÜÒÑÜÒÜÑÜÒÑÜÒÜÑÜÒÑÜÒÜÑÜÒÑÜÒÜÑÜ
ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ
ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ ÕÖ ÚÚÚ
ÜÓÜÔÜÓÔÜÓÜÔÜÓÔÜÓÜÔÜÓÔÜÓÜÔÜÓÔÜÓÜÔÜÓÔÜÓÜÔÜ
RJScott Osgood LoÜes Cathy GaryM
Loves ÍÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ×ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎ &
FoxyLadyÜÛÖ A $ of Affection ÕÛÜ Becky
ÐÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛØÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÏ
Theodosis Frodo B LÜves The Boss Beren
Loves loves
Twin Star SheRaP1
----------------------------------------
Love $'s:When you care enough to pay 50$
ÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑÜÒÑ
11
ÍÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎ
ÚÍÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÎÚ
ÚÚFREELANCE REPORTERS CONTESTÚÚ
ÚÚ ÚÚ
ÚÐÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÏÚ
ÐÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÏ
o Win Prizes!
o Be Popular!
o Improve your love life!
o Cures baldness!
Submit articles for THE RANT and
win free advertising space.
12
Come to Kelly's Bar and Grill for
Happy Hour Thursday night starting at
10:30 pm Eastern time.
We'll have someone on duty to spread
some good cheer, and good spirits!
Learn the latest Habitat news, gossip
and scandal (do we have any?), who's
doing what to whom, when and where!
Kelly's at 10:30 Eastern, Thursday
night! Make it a tradition!
13
WIN BIG TOKENS!!
"Randy's Region Rally" starts on
Wednesday Night at 9 pm EDT!
Make the right choices in the Rally,
and you can find yourself the proud
owner of MANY MANY tokens!!
But if you make the wrong choices,
you could be trapped forever in a
region, face death, or a fate worse
than death....okay..maybe just death.
Be at the Oracle at 9 pm EDT for more
information!!
14
Sign up now for the first Habitat
Checkers Championship!
We'll be finding out who has the most
checkered past when avatars square
off across the checkerboard!
The winner of the tournament will
receive 500 tokens! Only the first
8 applicants will be accepted, so
mail your registration tonight!
To register for the tournament, send
mail (Habitat-style) to Bahia,
resident Habitat moderator.
15
Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
'' The trouble with the publishing
business is that too many people with
half a mind to write...do so ''
Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
A public service announcement from the
gang at Kelly's Bar & Grill, Downtown.
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
The Weekly Rant is published every
Someday by the Rant'n'Rave Free Press,
Propaganda Publishing Co., Ltd.,
Populopolis. Mail article submissions,
paid advertisements, letters to the
editor and cash bribes to "OSGOOD".
ÝPublisher: SPBLives Ý Editor: OSGOODÝ
16